Avatar: A Film Review

After initially seeing the trailer for "Avatar" a couple months ago, I was sure of one thing:
That I would definitely see the film on opening night. I wasn't as enthused about it as I would become in the following weeks, but was sure with James Cameron directing, it would be visually stunning even if everything else was a giant fail.

The setting of the entire film is on Pandora in the year 2154. Earth has been destroyed. Pandora is a thriving planet in which the natives (Na'vi) are inherently connected to the planet specifically their town's base, HomeTree.

The Na'vi are beautiful, 10 foot tall blue/green creatures with golden wide set eyes. Jake Sully, played by Sam Worthington initially tries to become one of the Na'vi through a groundbreaking "virtual reality" system in order to get them to relocate from HomeTree, which sits on the richest deposits of "unobtanium." Eventually he develops a strong bond and ultimately falls in love with Netyiri, played by Zoe Saldana.

Unobtanium is the mineral that Earthlings are mining on the planet. The only other character that enters the world of the Na'vi is Dr. Grace Augustine, played by Sigourney Weaver. She is, as usual, fantastic. Did I mention that she looks amaZing in this film. She appears far younger than her 60 years.

This is where, both fortunately and unfortunately, the plots gets a little predictable. It irrevocably becomes the epitome of the epic love story. There are two main characters from different worlds with all obstacles and reasons to not be together laid out in front of them. And, true to form, they overcome all those obstacles and figure out a way to be together in the end.

Albeit, fantastically non-traditional... Earth Shattering even. We've seen this story time and time again. It's just never been presented in such spectacular form.

We saw the 3-D format, which didn't give way to silly, archaic visuals of weaponry or debris flying out of the screen. It simply provided eXtra depth and more vivid coloring.

Overall, this was definitely a thumbs up! The story, we've seen before, but the direction, cinematography, and effects... we haven't.

All to soon...

Like some fever pitch time,
Out of left field,
Quick and new to our end,
Trusts withered up,
Like old papers and books,
Full up with dry rot.
Foundations, rocked
Cooled off and ashen,
A shifted place,
All this did become.
Bleak days,
That the sun gave no reprieve,
Realizing newness, unwanted,
Not believed
Whistles blow,
Trains pass,
Emotions swell,
And the rains did last.
Like some ironrod,
Stern.
Whole and full and learned.
You stand,
Here,
Fresh,
At this time,
Wonderment, bleak
Arising into a heart, vacant
And, new.
A challenge to the truth,
Of your insistent blue.
Like some seaborn storm,
It came in,
With a flourish dark and bleak,
And, we pushed acceptance,
Mild and meek.
It sat here,
Stirring,
Building,
Growing,
Ruminating,
In a foreign place,
At some distant and dreaded pace.
We walked to you,
With outstretched hands,
Still paints and illustrations,
Of new, unchartered lands.
A future changed,
Hope,
Disdain,
Wonderment stifled,
And fear contained.
Then a morningyear did come,
Fogs lift, panes are wiped clean.
Tears dry and hearts beat calmer.
Winds still,
Limbs and stillbrush will be cleaned away,
Long nights will falter,
Give way to sun,
Days...easier.
Not as long.
Truth settles down,
Like a soft hot afternoon.
And, peace.
Peace will come,
All to soon.

Already Gone...

We spoke of the night sky,

I liked the way your eyes smiled,

When you did.

I loved the way you walked,

At once assured, and boyishly shy,

I wondered who you came here with,

And, if you were alone, why?

We spoke of schools and jobs

And of dreams and soon, very

Soon.

Of invitations. Awkward moments,

Spent fiddling with iPhones in the thunderous,

Chaos of that place.

Performers danced, and sang, and we...

Watched. Each. Other.

You smelled fresh, like the way the Earth looks at sunRise.

You danced into me, not just on me.

And, I trusted you.

Like someone I'd known,

For years long.

I noted the way you held me,

Like a protector of me,

Like a guardian I didn't need,

A warning I didn't heed.

Your place was nice,

A bachelor pad, not.

I felt comfortable,

Homespent and new,

Excited and true,

It began to rain,

And, the thunder crasHed around,

All the pain,

Lightning punctuated,

The harmonious howl of the wind,

The heat of you,

Distinct and nestled in.

A passion,

We had not known,

An intensity neVer shown,

Like some newborn,

And true thing.

Your arms were,

Full up and strong,

My heart murmured and eeked out,

A new, favored song,

And, the winds kept howling,

The rain was beating down on the roof,

The window panes,

The car hoods below,

The street,

Trickling down drains,

Into raveens,

Water, there

No longer seen.

Slumber came,

In your arms.

The morning intruded,

Brightly.

Like some new sun thing,

I had never seen.

I smiled down on you,

Remembering this thing,

This LoveMake we had done.

At that moment,

I gathered me still,

Moving past ruffled sheets,

And pillow indentions,

And when you would awake,

I would already be gone...

SunRise

This morning's sunRise,
Entered in a softer repose,
Delicate, as if Sol Invictus himself,
Knew that I couldn't handle the brutality of light.
My nightime year, was long and cold,
Twas unclear and remiss,
In it's handling of me.
There was no amount of reasoning,
That could proVide shelter.

Hindsight is an interesting,
And precarious,
And terrible thing,
We always have to wonder,
Why didn't I see that before,
How could those things,
Have been ignored?

Transitions go too into the smooth,
When did I trade my dreams for plans,
When did I sell my whimsy for comfort,
When did I walk down from my altar of me,
When did I pack up all my ideals,
Just to shaRe my spaces,
When did all the smiles,
Wipe down, rinse away from our faces?

The nights can be so harsh,
Bleak.
Dark.
Untrusting.
Foolish.
Hapless.
Distant.
Thick.

This morning's sunRise,
Entered in a softer repose,
My dear friend (Jordan),
Listened to all my caGed madness,
My rambles on the shambles,
Of my cardstacks,
The delicacy of my rooms,
And the trusses,
Positioning me.

So, I took the gentle,
And, pit it against,
The night's frenZy,
And the morning, with this softness,
Doesn't win,
But, I am willing to give up the fight.

So, I looked out on my fair citySpace,
This lovely brisk morn,
Still somewhere between,
Whole and torn,
With ruminations of the laughter times,
I've eXperienced recently,
The fact that my life has been really,
Really beautiful,
As of late,
I tucked swords back into sheaths,
And, smiled to the skies,
And, remembered to just breathe,
All of it in and out.

Battles have to be chosen,
And sought,
In a particular way,
There is always a greater good,
A larger picture,
That we cannot focus into,
That we cannot draw, paint, sketch,
Design.
It is just there, slightly outside our own reasons,
Lingering in some different season.
And, that's okay.

We just have to keep breathing,
Still our hearts,
Smooth them out,
Close our eYes,
And, wait for the next,
sunRise...

I'm scaRed...

Outside a closet,
Outside in the cold, bleak,
Evening twilight,
Outside the comfort,
Of home's dim light,
Outside the places we walked,
And stood,
Outside the moon's light,
Outside the warmth,
Of all the past nights,
Outside the screams,
Of our fright.

Against these steps,
Forward,
Against these movements,
Toward,
Some new, unfettered plane,
Against,
The way my tongue can roll off,
Your name,
Against large, old,
Trees,
Rooted and unmoving in this place,
Planted by rivers,
Nurtured into ease,
Simple capture.

Toward some renounced dream,
Some new and consumed mean,
Toward a different night and sky,
Toward all the questions,
The how, the why,
Toward a better movement,
Toward a more true feeling,
A constant interest,
Toward a pinnacle of,
Ease.
Resting here,
Nestled in fear,
That the movement was wrong,
The notes played,
Were for a different song,
The trip was short,
Or too long.

I know more,
Than is good.
I know too little,
About the can't and the should.

I have pushed outward,
Into this landscape,
I have carved, and drilled in,
And shaped,
An intrusion,
A foreboding circumstance,
An indifference,
To the charms,
Of any dance.

I feel this possession,
This fear,
I haven't seen or heard,
But, I realize,
The mistake,
The wrong,
And, I am scaRed.

WinterWonderland... Not wonderful yet...

Baby, it's cold ouTside... But for how long? We are in Alabama. This has been a strange year's winter for me. Everything is different from winter year last. Work is harder, but it's more manageable without all the travel. It's like I have more time for my friends. It's really an amaZing thing.

For all the uncertainty that surrounds me, they make up my aXis. As long as I have them, I guess the world is right.

I wish they could change the weather but they can't. I just want it to get winterCold and remain winterCold. Football games would be more fun, so would dinners and sweater wearing. I'm ready for this thing to start: Winter that is...

LittLe voLcanoes....

...there have been so very many since the last time we synced uP! My aforementioned job led to a promoTion! So, I'm in another location (Summit) and I Love it! The team is amaZing! I feeL right at home!



Recently, August 11, 2009... my Grandma Clara passed away. She was a beautiful person and lived to be 84 years old. Awesome, awesoMe, aWesome... We had a great relationship and when she went, she was surrounded by famiLy!



No other big things haVe happened... Just breathing life in and out. I loVe it aLL...



Thank you for reading...Muah!!!

"What do you want to do next"?

That was on my computer screen when I opened a new tab a few minutes ago... Good question.
And, honestly I have no idea. The last few months have been a period of major transition and discovery for me.

Jobs have started and ended, as well as some relationships. Some have simply changed. And, after each shift or redirect or whatever we may perchance call it...we are haunted by that ghastly ghost of a question. What do you want to do next? Do we ever really know? Does life ever really follow what we have scripted for it. More often than not, the answer is no. It is always more improv than a directed stage play.

That's not to say that we are sans the melodramas...ha! Wouldn't that world be sweet to live in?
But, that leads me to another question. Without all those little plays carried out on the stage that is our lives...all those little dramas...would we ever have to think about the question - What do you want to do next?

Right now, for me... A very good place to sit in, is the place where I admit that I have no idea.

I have made a commitment to myself, though... To experience new things, to meet new people, to go to new places. To stop trying to have so much control over things. To learn a new language and to be more empathetic. To become more fit and healthy. I do have a new job... Will it lead to a career? Maybe, who knows. What I do know is that right now, in this present...I like going to work, I love all the people that I work with. I have amazing leadership. And, even though I always leave tired; I always leave pleasant with a smile on my face. That, my friends is priceless!

I once had a yoga instructor talk to us when we were in Savasana about being patient, being present, and being still. And, a few days later a very wise friend of mine said the same thing to me, and he went a little deeper. He taught me that I have to show up for me before I will ever be able to show up for anyone else... That all I can do is be very aware of how I behave, act and react. That my presence, so to speak can only be controlled by me.

I am practicing all this.... So, the next time someone asks me: "What do you want to do next?" My answer will be: For now, I am treasuring my present circumstances by being still, being patient, and being alive for these moments with a slight lean towards the future.

They should like that.

An Empty Dumpster, WTF?!

So, It's near the end of the week, and today I was doing some cleaning... Went to take the trash out to the dumpster and it was not even half full. And, that's never the case at my apartment building, especially this late in the week....

As I was walking out, I was letting my music shuffle on my iPod. An Alanis Morissette song came on called "So Unsexy" / lyrics:

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?

When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

So, I cried through this song, thinking about all that has happened in the past few weeks and months: relationships: ending and stalling, jobs: ending, friendships: changing. I have simply felt so rejected by everything around me, that It's been so difficult to be optimistic about anything.

There has been some beauty in all this, but there is so much ugliness around that at best, the beautiful moments are fleeting. But, isn't: that just/life?! I don't know the answer to that one.

What I do know is that seasons change, trash gets emptied and dumpsters are filled. It's a process... No matter how much you want to stagnate or reverse it, you can't. So, do I have the strength and courage to take the dumpster that my life has become, turn it into a gift box of sorts, and fill it up with things that make my life better and more precious during this season and those that follow.

Fill it with new experiences and relationships and jobs and career directions and creativity and a love for myself that surpasses what anyone else could ever feel for me? Can I do that? I want to...
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

...I guess if I just do this, I will be on my way.

So...I guess I'll start filling up my dumpster/I mean...gift box, or liFe... :-)

Jalapeno on the Sidewalk

So, yesterday morning I was running. I ran too long and too fast, but that's another story. I was running off some of the frustration that has built over the past 10 days or so. So, I was about 20 or so minutes in, and I was running past Rojo restaurant on Highland Avenue and as I looked down, there was a slice of a jalapeno pepper. In the abstract way my mind works...I began to equate that to my life.

This little slice of the pepper was just a piece of a whole, and maybe there was an entire pepper somewhere with just a piece missing and the rest intact?! Who knows...

But, maybe I could say that right now my life is a pepper with just a slice missing and somewhere the rest of it is there, whole and without distraction or destruction. So, hopefully, somewhere down the road, I'll find the rest of my pepper. Maybe in my 30s (um, yeah which isn't so far off) or my 40s? Its there, I know it is... my intact... just a little slice missing jalapeno, wait LIFE!!!!

I just wanted to thank all my friends that have helped me through these very difficult days, especially Wednesday and Friday nights. So, thanks to Briton & Renee, Ruth, Tiffany, and last but not least Kristin - your humor is like a piLL. Thanks for making me laugh. If you are not mentioned or pictured to the right...I do thank you as weLL & Love you aLL.

Good Day, Everybody...Muah!!!!

Il ne me laisse...

Windows to...?

Why have architects, designers, builders, and homeowners or renters always wanted windows in attics and crawlspaces? I think that some builders and architects simply want to give the illusion of more space, more floors, levels. And, I believe that the inhabitants of those homes or apartments or tenements or condos may simply want to see the outside.


Whether its an unihabitable skyline, or some barren piece of earth, inhabited by roots, and pipes, and underground creatures; it still represents freedom. Something bigger than ourselves, our spirits. The ability to soar like any fowl on the earth, or to burrow deep into the unknown among all the underearth creatures.


Whatever the motivations, these windows truly represent the human spirit, I believe. It is wide & open and encompassing & shriveled and triumphant & unconquered and dark & light and new & ancient and proud & unsure and solid & shaky and nurturing & draining and loving & hateful. And, it can succeed just as it fails, and it lifts us and pulls us down.


And it is our essence....just as those windows in attics and crawlspaces create the essence of that house or apartment or tenement or condo.

*This was originally posted to my myspace page on 06/12/08. The thoughts and sentiments remain valid :-)

Rain, rain...I can't stop you anyway.

A few weeks ago...it rained very hard for a couple days...I was working at a store that had a parking deck, but chose to park outside....It should also be said that before I arrived at the store, it was not raining!

So, I worked and worked, and did I mention worked. When I left the store, I went to put some things in my trunk, and it was soaked with rainwater... Books, brochures, clothes...so many things wet! It was slightly humorous because the trunk was closed, all the rubber crap around it was intact. Logically, there was no reason for water to be in the trunk, but it was. So, I was standing at the proverbial fork in the road. Left, be pissed and mad...Right, react and clean up the mess....

I went right! When I was kind of time-still and in awe, I had some thoughts...that this was a great illustration for life. Everyday when we leave the sanctuary of our homes and family and friends, we are in a rainstorm called the world. We have very little armor for this, save our logic, rationale and hopefully a calm spirit.

Junk will always find a way into the trunk of our lives and make everything wet and soggy. We can either deal with it, or stew on it while it festers and mildews. Its a simlple choice, really.

And, we own it!!

Il ne me laisse

It never leaves me...the emotion of the song "Ne me quitte pas" composed, originally by Jacques Brel. It is hands down my favorite song, ever. I speak virtually no French! I first heard this song on the pictured album, a 1969 best of Nina Simone collection from PolyGram Records.

What has always drawn me to the song is the haunting way that Nina Simone sings it...It bubbles over with a deep and dark passion that is at once distant and close to all of us. There is no hope in this chanteuse's voice, only a plea, a cry... Ne me quitte pas, which translates to Do not leave me. Do not leave me! Do not leave me!

We can all relate to this plea...we cry it out when there is a breakup, a death, a pet runs away, we leave our jobs, or they leave us. A friend moves away, an elderly relative goes into a nursing home, a baby is sick, our favorite designer sweater is ripped and can't be fixed. We realize there i no more hope for our Tod's driving loafers...oh my!

These things will always happen... Our cries of ne me quitte pas, won't stop them...But, it's human nature to try...one last breath of life, one last scream or plea, to whatever God will hear

us...

Another point of this little ramble is that emotion and feeling and passions cross language barriers...So, we should all maybe start shutting off our logic and rationale and lunguistic precepts and listen with the ears, but hear with the heart.

et, à la fois, je l'aimais plus que tout, je n'avais jamais connue, mais elle a dû s'enfuir. Il voulait laisser le bien, mais je criais s'il vous plaît ne laissez pas de moi.

a little diScourSe on dichotomy!

We live and walk in many worlds: Work, Friends, Relationships, Family, Church, School. Many, many things. We circumvent all the different lives and maintain all the necessary reposes...most often in some vapid and vacant glimpse or consequence of necessity and circumstance. Which is all well and good....

Until our circles overlap and school things spill into family or work things spill into relationships...There is no napkin to absorb these...So, what do you do? I say live it out!

Sometimes, life can't be compartmentalized. Sometimes the things that are exclusive of each other become inclusive of each other...So, you have to enjoy it and live it out. Follow the road,

till you figure out where it leads or at least what direction you're headed in.

If you keep straight, turn right or left, you don't know what will happen, but I bet if you turn that car around, you'll only be left with regret of the thought of what could have been? And, this is an uglier and more lonely place than and warm day on any country road (isn't that always where they are driving at the end of a movie?)

So, I guess my point for this little discourse is that all the little dichotomies of life shouldn't be that... maybe we should connect all our circles and walk or dance or skip through them because if not, maybe we are not really moving through life...

"I wear my sunglasses at...wait it's still daytime!"

Anyone that really know me, can tell you that the one thing that I am never, ever, ever without is my pair of Black Blinde Sunglasses.... (pictured above).

So, today I was headed to Green Hills, excited because I had one more stop before heading to Sweet Home Alabama. These sunglasses are such a source of comfort for me. Its like no matter my expression or thoughts, or demeanor... you don't know what it is... I also love that Giselle and Leo are fans of the line as well... I think Leo and I might wear the same style.

But, I digress... where was I? Oh, deep thought brought on by an everyday occurence...

I arrived in Green Hills and had to go into the parking deck and as I drove in realized that it was SO dark inside the deck...I couldn't see anything and couldn't figure out why until remembering that I had on my ever-faithful Blinde Sunglasses...

And, so you're wondering what deep though came out of this Blonde Moment with the Blinde Glasses... The thought was that sometimes the things that we have near to us or even cling to for normalcy, balance, or even regularity can be the cause of darkness or irregularity in our lives...

Sometimes what's normal or regular or comfortable to us, keeps us in the dark!

miRRoR, MirrOr, on the waLL...Who...am I?!?!?!?

So, while driVing frOm Memphis to NashviLLe today wiTh onLy a SWIFT freightliner in front of me and a brutal unforgiving SuN behind me in the WesterN sKy, I had a lot of tiMe to think...uh oh...

I was aLL about some rock music and whILe listenIng to SwitcHFooT..."we were meant to live for so much more..." I was kindA like...um, "What am I meant to live for?" WoW...waY too deep of a thouGht afTer a Long and suMMaRily teRRible daY!

So, I shifted a bit to a question that LieS above the AfoRemenTioned... Who Am I? After 29 years oF liFe, I can'T saY! I can teLL you things I do, like, feel, eat, read, inherent traits, wonders to my eyes, what makes my heart drop, beat fast, what sets in fear, what questions i have about life, what foods i like, what designers make me salivate ferociously, or what makes me throW uP a LiTTLe in mY mouth on siGht, or sOunD, oR thoughT... what'S imPorTanT to me, soMe goALs, dReamS and on and on and on...

BuT, is the SummaRy of thoSe thIngs me? thiS could be slightly vaPiD... my job, my clothes or Bags or shOes... save any Armani, Louis Vuitton, or Tod's...thoSe are heavenly cReaTions...hA....

Or am I the wHoLe that affects aLL the ParTs? We'LL ExPLoRe, maYBe, diScuSS...if You'D liKe...

Maya Angelou says "When people show you who they are, believe them." I am working on discovering this so, wHeN the PicTure coMpLeTes, I'll...um, show you, and If you can't invest the years this would take... then

oH?

WeLL.................................................................................. :-)

doeS thaT meaN I havE tO reaD thE whoLe booK?

So, bright and early this morning I headed from Memphis to Jonesboro, AR - Home of Arkansas State Univ and not much else, right? Right. A fact confirmed by the citizens there. I was dreading this trip and have been for sometime. So weary of being in these podunk towns...I have to have the worst territory out there!

So, once I passed the natural beauty of crossing the River into Arkansas, I settled into my drive of nothingness... just me, the car, a bag of skittles and terrible cell phone signals. What a Life i Live?!?!?!?! You're jealous I know it.

Thanks to my friends that talked me through it and held on during the breaking signals that neVer waiVer when I asked can you hear me NOW? Awww, you Guys answered.... I didn't see much of Jonesboro, or I guess I probabLY saw aboUt all of it, SaVe the bonFiRes and banjo music...ha.

of course, there were the requisite Wal Mart Supercenters, I think 3 of them - beacons in a seA of nothingNess...

I actually worked with two ladies I had met last fall at a training, and the day was pretty gooD. I guess I was dreading this trip for nothing, and We really don't have to always read the whole book, but I guess we should open the cover with zeal and anticipation, not dread and anxiety, we might actually like the first chapter and who knows?

maybe the EnTiRe booK!!!