"What do you want to do next"?

That was on my computer screen when I opened a new tab a few minutes ago... Good question.
And, honestly I have no idea. The last few months have been a period of major transition and discovery for me.

Jobs have started and ended, as well as some relationships. Some have simply changed. And, after each shift or redirect or whatever we may perchance call it...we are haunted by that ghastly ghost of a question. What do you want to do next? Do we ever really know? Does life ever really follow what we have scripted for it. More often than not, the answer is no. It is always more improv than a directed stage play.

That's not to say that we are sans the melodramas...ha! Wouldn't that world be sweet to live in?
But, that leads me to another question. Without all those little plays carried out on the stage that is our lives...all those little dramas...would we ever have to think about the question - What do you want to do next?

Right now, for me... A very good place to sit in, is the place where I admit that I have no idea.

I have made a commitment to myself, though... To experience new things, to meet new people, to go to new places. To stop trying to have so much control over things. To learn a new language and to be more empathetic. To become more fit and healthy. I do have a new job... Will it lead to a career? Maybe, who knows. What I do know is that right now, in this present...I like going to work, I love all the people that I work with. I have amazing leadership. And, even though I always leave tired; I always leave pleasant with a smile on my face. That, my friends is priceless!

I once had a yoga instructor talk to us when we were in Savasana about being patient, being present, and being still. And, a few days later a very wise friend of mine said the same thing to me, and he went a little deeper. He taught me that I have to show up for me before I will ever be able to show up for anyone else... That all I can do is be very aware of how I behave, act and react. That my presence, so to speak can only be controlled by me.

I am practicing all this.... So, the next time someone asks me: "What do you want to do next?" My answer will be: For now, I am treasuring my present circumstances by being still, being patient, and being alive for these moments with a slight lean towards the future.

They should like that.