What I have...

What I have

A heart weighed down,
Like some thing ocean locked,
Passed over by years,
With salted wounds,
And water weight. 

A faith shredded,
Like freshly ruined
Blades of grass,
Chopped of when most ripe,
Like the middle of
Some newfallen day. 
A crest fueled by wishes 
And blind dreams, 
Shrinking to nothing,
Before fully formed. 

A dream, grainy 
Like some antique, forgotten memory
Like a film softly murdered,
By the purity of light. 
An openly, knowingly, 
Intently destroyed thing. 

A mind challenged to,
Worsened realities. 
Ignorance, wedded with bliss,
Regrets, aloft and remiss. 

A love that shall ne'er bloom,
A future and a now,
Blown out & extinguished too soon. 
Like a babe with no feeding mother,
Fires falling prey to smother. 

A need to move away,
No desire to feel,
Or pray. 
A realization of this love,
That shall ne'er be. 
Like some thing ocean locked,
Passed over by years,
With salted wounds,
Weighed down & pressed out,
Removed with no doubt. 
A cross hand and hope to,
Step down from this lofty place,
Where you reign as king.
Where my dreams, my needs,
Have no meaning. 

A walk forward,
Slow & sure, 
Like sand moved about,
By feet, by time. 
Moving toward,
Full,
Happy me. 

Jason Christopher Johnson
February 16, 2011

When it will come...

When it will come...

There was a time when 
The music did sound sweeter,
Like the buds of roses 
In a garden day. 
There was a day when 
Time didn't matter 
And love took up spaces,
Filled our minds and hearts 
With peace and laughter.

There was a place for both these lives
A womb unborn. 
A hope forlorn. 
Like waiting for the clouds to 
Bring in summer rain. 
Or dancing with winds in the thick
Of a countryside plane. 
There came a move
Toward something new 
Like fresh leaves cut off
And thrown down, cast off, askew. 
Your heart began to harden 
Like a gated place I couldn't reach
Full up with steel and hard lines
And a forgotten time. 
There came an exchange 
From your eyes to mine,
Sun to earth. 
And night pride pushed up to a 
Different coast's moon. 
There moves a hope inside 
These eyes. 
There bears a dream inside 
This voice. 
That we shall sing the same song,
Dance the same waltz,
Never fight or embrace pains,
Take up the real things for
The sake of the toss. 
There will come a time, 
When I will simply know 
That hope has left me here,
Abandoned,
A down ship,
Water-filled & unmoving,
Sheltered to nothing,
Just barely looming. 
When that time comes,
I'll pack up all my wood,
Bear my cross & scars, 
And, move on like I should.

Jason Christopher Johnson
February 15, 2012

That Morning

That morning,
I left you sleeping,
Beautifully silent,
Tossing, turning, remembering,
I left longing, yearning,
Painfully, I left you
That morning.

I left you,
Distant and afraid,
Full of wonder and less than new,
You came for me,
Pushed you away,
That morning,
I needed to ask me to stay,
I needed you to wonder what was wrong,
To help find my song.

That morning,
I left me still,
Unmoving,
Silent with no will,
That morning came so suddenly,
At that time,
I felt most free.

That morning,
I needed something more,
Your allegiances I could not ignore.
I needed to leave,
I needed to steal away,
You needed to wander alone.

The time would not stand still,
The misgivings, I could not relive,
That morning I awakened,
That morning, I began to live.

Jason Christopher Johnson
December 14, 2002

Inside

You were always there,
Sealed away and unknown,
Covered and not shown,
Like the bloom of a flower,
Outside it's season,
Or rhyme without reason.

You were alwyas here,
Unseen, subtle,
Like the passing of days,
Into nights,
The skipped beating of the heart,
From a sudden fright.

You are always new,
Wild-eyed, thirsty,
For more, and goodness,
And learned things,
For new evening words,
And songs to sing.

You were always,
Looking, unknowing,
Searching, not realizing,
One day you'd open your eyes,
And, I would have been there,
All the while.

Jason Christopher Johnson
Composed Spring/Summer, 2009