Here...?

Here,
There?
Everywhere...?
And, still out of reach.
A puzzle with still missing pieces,
Like waterless baths,
Tearless cries.

A wound, unhealed,
A place open,
but unfilled.
Piled into questions,
No answers.
Fostered into regret.
The stench of things undone,
unlived.
together.

Where do they all go?
Dancing around. They are ghosts,
Screaming banshees,
Hurting.
And, then hurting us who remain
to sweep and wipe and clean
the messes of the past.
To pull up: bootstraps and move,
forward
without looking back,
Straining smiles,
In the face of newly formed
relations.

Naught of things we had dreamed,
But, what life gave us to fill in
Bleakness for glee.
Doubt for surety.

Hope
falls from the table,
beyond the floor.
Out of sight.
Away from the heart.

Here,
There?
Where?

It was in our hands.

But, we are people
And, we ruin things.
Things that make us happy,,
that bring pleasure.
Things that matter
that we love,
people, places,
we ruin them.

We turn our lives into that
hobby.

Creations of nothingness, voided
from fullness and puffy glee.

Like a muted sound,
May not exist.
A stifled happiness brings sadness
and mire.

Here,
There?
Where?
Everywhere.
Every place.
Every day.
Every way.

Through all of time.
Jason Christopher Johnson
From the archives...

Seeing you...

written on the occasion of seeing
someone from the past.

caused me to realize
just how much I'd missed you,
like our summer nights miss
soft rains.

made me hush up
and stand tall,
like some recovering
wind-shifted
tree.

forced me to
remember and take in your
beauty.
an elegant, longing pain
that i could not stand.

brought memories
here
in this place
in this now.

made me remember
all the nights i sat on my hands.
holding pillows
with tear stained face,
dry and thirsting
for your
love.

seeing you
reminded me
how it is to live
in fear
distrust.

seeing you
reminded me
that i had moved on
and that your hold
was gone.

the color of this.

gold laden,
pressed out,
virgin sheets for our bodies
to end up tangled in.
and wet.

orange colors,
red heat,
hopeful motions from your hips
passionately kissed,
by your lips.
and breathless.

purple walls,
wrapped around us,
hugged tightly,
like all these things we know.
and tired.

blue muscles,
throbbing and cramped up,
like some never ending work/out.
tightness.
and touched.

white openness,
spread around,
your skin,
laying softly on my tone,
like piano keys,
mixed and mingled.
and trusted.
and confused.
and wanted.
and used.

brown smoothness,
looming underneath you,
my skin,
laying below your tone,
blended.
pure.
and hopeful.
and new.
and present.
and true.